Self worth: How you should be talking to yourself (plus poem)

Before I started really working on myself and understanding that there was work to be done my self worth was incredibly low. I used to talk to myself like crap. I think that a lot of us do it and, worse still, we sometimes don’t even realise how badly we are doing it.

I remember when I was slowly reaching my ‘rock bottom’ (I really hope it was my rock bottom because nobody wants to go there again!) I would say the most dreadful things to myself. I recall saying over and over in my head that I was useless and I even went as far as to call myself evil. I would find myself crying and wishing that I was dead as this voice just rang out over and over again. “You’re evil, you’re evil, you’re evil. The world would be a better place without you in it.” It brings chills to my body to even write that because it really does bring back that awful time with such intensity.

However, through a lot of hard work and therapy and going to meetings for my alcoholism, I have managed to (almost) swing it around. There are still days when I am stressed or tired and I find myself slipping back into my old patterns but, on the whole, I am so much better.

If you are struggling with the crippling effects of talking to yourself like you don’t matter, here are a couple of ways to try and put a stop to it:

  • Make sure you get enough sleep and try to avoid stress. As I mentioned, these are two things that are bound to set me off.
  • Read some self help books or watch something uplifting on Youtube. You may think it’s a load of old woowoo but hopefully the uplifting message will give you a bit of a kick.
  • Meditation, because this is bound to quieten the voices in your head. It takes some practice but the benefits once you’ve gotten the hang of it are not to be sniffed at.
  • Be creative because this is taking your mind off the words that are tumbling through your mind. And if you make something nice, you feel as though you’ve accomplished something. Useless people wouldn’t be able to do that!
  • Talk to a friend. Again distraction and connection with other humans are so useful. It’ll help to remind you that there are people out there who love you and value you.
  • Talk to yourself as though you were talking to your four year old self. You wouldn’t tell that little girl or boy that they were pathetic and vile. So don’t tell your grown up self that!

28 thoughts on “Self worth: How you should be talking to yourself (plus poem)

  1. Cassie Mayers

    I have started working on this myself, I can be so mean to myself at times. Trying to say better things about myself when I can, especially ‘I Can do It”

  2. Helen

    This is such an important message, as no one should talk to themselves in a negative light. We should show ourselves the most respect of anyone 🙂

  3. Sarupa Shah

    Sound advice here. And I always remind myself if I get negative self talk which can happen to anyone … if a friend spoke to me that way I wouldn’t put up with it!!! So be kinder to me!!! And j believe how we treat ourselves sets a backdrop for what we put up with and allow from others.


    I’m working on getting enough sleep. I have been stressed lately so I’m struggling with this. I hope that reducing the stress will help although it’ll be a while until this happens.

  5. Natasha Mairs - Serenity You

    These are really great tips. I suffer with depression and often have bad thoughts, but I find the things that help me the most are getting enough sleep, me time and eating healthy.

  6. Wince.EATS

    I’m glad you are feeling better 🙂 and the tips you have shared are the best advice, its so important to look after yourself, I’m currently seeing a therapist as I want to improve myself and the way I see things.

  7. Rebecca Smith

    I really like the poem, it is a great reminder that we really should be kind to ourselves and not put ourselves down constantly.

  8. Alexis

    When I’m down I definitely know I need more sleep. Sleep deprivation is a huge cause of negative thoughts for most people. Thank you for sharing.

  9. Norma

    Great points! It’s so important to talk to ourselves with love, respect, and kindness. Many times we are nicer to others than to ourselves.

  10. Lyosha Varezhkina

    This is such an important post! I agree having issues understanding self worth is not easy and it makes life so much worse. you post is helpful in so many ways!

  11. My Dreamality

    Kudos to you for working on yourself! 🙂 The entire post is useful but you’re so so right when you say that sleep and stress avoidance is so important. It really is. I find that if I rest properly, I feel completely different as a person and it affects everything from my thoughts to my feelings and my mood. xx

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