In a boat with no paddle.

Is it fair that you pushed me away?

And is it fair that you gave me the blame?

Is it fair that you pushed me away?

Knowing full well that I couldn’t get back?

You pushed me away with no oars to use,

And I sat and I watched as I drifted away,

Dreaming of things I was about to lose.

You knew that the wind was surely against me

And you soon were a speck on the hazy horizon,

An old loving friend I could no longer see.

But you knew that my oars were not there,

And you still pushed me far from the bank,

Not worrying about which of the facts were fair.

And then you began to heap on the blame,

As I drifted away, I finally knew

Nothing would ever quite be the same.

Once you had vanished completely from sight,

The sadness and anger began to set in

But I was too tired to put up the fight.

Now there is nothing between us but hate,

The outcome’s uncertain, we’ll just have to wait.

I feel like I’m being blamed for a breakdown in a relationship and I don’t know how I could have done anything differently. Have you ever had that feeling? It’s an uncomfortable knot that forms in your gut and it’s horrible because there’s fuck all you can do about it. It feels like being pushed out to sea without a paddle. My worry is that the person on the beach now has all the power and I am left feeling utterly alone and terrible.

The only way that I can see myself getting through this is by handing it over to a Higher Power and just hoping that I wash up safely on the other side. I have to remember that I have no control over other people so I can’t force them to love me. All I can do is wave goodbye and hold my head high.

Much Love

Rachel xx

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