fast car

The need for it all is compulsively strong.

It tears at my skin and it squeezes my lungs,

Air leaving alveoli like drips wrung from sponge.

It’s the need for speed,

The need for it now.

I would inhale all these books

If the laws of this world would allow.

I would soak up the internet

And learn every language ever been spoken.

Grab life by the shirt collar

And shake til it’s broken.

I would shake it so violently

To get it all out.

Like change from a piggy bank

Echoing inside and amounting to nowt.

I need it all there, inside my head

Despite knowing better and knowing the danger.

I know that I need to slow it right down.

But the speed that I know I can plough into knowledge

(a bit like a car with brakes that have failed)

Is far more enticing and I’m willing to drown,

If drowning will mean that know it all now,

The ins and the outs and the whys and the how.

Anyone else feel like they need to know everything and they need to know it yesterday? I blame the internet. We are so used to getting everything immediately that I’ve almost completely forgotten how to wait for anything.

But is there a danger to the immediacy that we have become accustomed to? It is true that knowledge is power, but it’s also true that ignorance is bliss. Sometimes the onslaught of information can seem like too much and all I want is for it to slow down. I felt a little like I was in a car heading towards a lake with no brakes. I knew that I wanted the information but it was coming at me so fast that I knew I was going to drown in it.

Next year I’m definitely going to make more of an effort to slow down and enjoy the not knowing. I’ll enjoy turning off the TV and not consulting the internet every time I get a headache and think it could be some sort of tumour. Next year I am going to savour the moments rather than race towards the next one at any cost. I hope that you can do the same.

Much Love

Rachel xx

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