He texted me during my lunch hour
And I opened the message to devour it whole.
I think we need a brake, is what it said.
I laughed with girlfriends over cocktails,
What an utter dick I spat, eyeing the text again,
He couldn’t even spell; it never would have worked.
Friends helped that night, to get me into bed,
My brain too drenched in something called a woo woo
To function like a normal human should.
Don’t even think about calling him, they warned
As they pulled the door and tiptoed out
Casting worried glances to and fro.
I tried to close my eyes and sleep,
But the bridal magazines called out
From underneath my bed.
Just one more look, it won’t do any harm.
A tear rolled down my cheek as the realisation hit.
Perhaps I had been far too hasty,
Perhaps that little shit was right.
Perhaps a slamming on of brakes was what the doctor ordered.
A break, a brake, it’s all the same.
In the end it all just means
That everything must stop.
I sometimes think that because I can spell and because I was book smart when I was at school, that I am a little bit above everyone else. And then something happens that makes me realise that I have no emotional intelligence whatsoever. And what good is being able to spell, when you can’t navigate the complexities of the relationships around us?
I always used to laugh at people when they tried to do something like break up with my by text but not be able to spell what they were saying. But maybe the joke was on me? Maybe life would have been a bit easier if I’d have just slowed down a bit, applied the brakes in some areas. Maybe if I wasn’t out buying bridal magazines after two months of dating then my relationships would have lasted a little longer (I never actually did that, but it illustrates my point exactly).
If you sometimes find yourself getting a bit too big for your boots then maybe you should think about taking a ‘brake’ so that you can slow down and think why people are slowly backing away from you. Emotional intelligence is a tricky thing to build but once you start to work at it you will find that you are much more sympathetic towards people, relationships improve and you’ll not need so many cocktails to dampen down that anger that always seems to be bubbling away.