we need a brake

He texted me during my lunch hour

And I opened the message to devour it whole.

I think we need a brake, is what it said.

I laughed with girlfriends over cocktails,

What an utter dick I spat, eyeing the text again,

He couldn’t even spell; it never would have worked.

Friends helped that night, to get me into bed,

My brain too drenched in something called a woo woo

To function like a normal human should.

Don’t even think about calling him, they warned

As they pulled the door and tiptoed out

Casting worried glances to and fro.

I tried to close my eyes and sleep,

But the bridal magazines called out

From underneath my bed.

Just one more look, it won’t do any harm.

A tear rolled down my cheek as the realisation hit.

Perhaps I had been far too hasty,

Perhaps that little shit was right.

Perhaps a slamming on of brakes was what the doctor ordered.

A break, a brake, it’s all the same.

In the end it all just means

That everything must stop.

I sometimes think that because I can spell and because I was book smart when I was at school, that I am a little bit above everyone else. And then something happens that makes me realise that I have no emotional intelligence whatsoever. And what good is being able to spell, when you can’t navigate the complexities of the relationships around us?

I always used to laugh at people when they tried to do something like break up with my by text but not be able to spell what they were saying. But maybe the joke was on me? Maybe life would have been a bit easier if I’d have just slowed down a bit, applied the brakes in some areas. Maybe if I wasn’t out buying bridal magazines after two months of dating then my relationships would have lasted a little longer (I never actually did that, but it illustrates my point exactly).

If you sometimes find yourself getting a bit too big for your boots then maybe you should think about taking a ‘brake’ so that you can slow down and think why people are slowly backing away from you. Emotional intelligence is a tricky thing to build but once you start to work at it you will find that you are much more sympathetic towards people, relationships improve and you’ll not need so many cocktails to dampen down that anger that always seems to be bubbling away.

Much Love,

Rachel xx

7 thoughts on “we need a brake

  1. Crystal Rose

    OMG …right on mark! Nice way of saying slow down & shut up & look around to see where you fucked up and fix that before you go on looking up….at wishing on those shooting stars….lol. [–entering into any relationship..]. I’m a bit distant on the concept of relationship since the though doesn’t bring comfort I’m playing w/a post to address my misgivings towards it…self-love is hard enough, for me, right now …hmmm, that makes me think of something a manipulatie narcissistic freak would say….hahahah……Best to keep to myself & worry about my inner relationships ….cause god knows those always need my attention….. Much Love Light & Ladybugs….

  2. ceponatia

    I think most of us do it in different ways. I’m always obsessed with the thought “well, I’m 38… maybe this girl I’m not totally into is really as good as it’s going to get and I should just settle”. And I’ve also been in relationships with amazing women whom I tried to move way too quickly with and ended up ruining it. I think we learn as we live; I’m definitely never the first to say “I love you” in a relationship anymore. Lol

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