They describe it as yellow
But that feels too sunny
Because this is a dark and lifeless emotion
It barricades out all of the love
And what is a life lived behind the glass plate
Never to know what it could be like
To sing alongside the love of my life
In a smoke laden bar
Where nobody listens
As they patiently nurse
Their precious real ale.
But we wouldn’t care as we finally touch
Skin to skin as voices lace together
And the prison is gone.
I have been single for so long and I know that the main reason is because I’m a coward. I don’t say this because I hate myself, but because I know that I run on fear and a lot of it is because of the way that I was brought up.
I was taught that if I wasn’t perfect, I was not worthy of love and this fear has followed me into adulthood. I’m so worried that if I let my guard down a partner will see my flaws and completely reject me.
It’s all because I’m a coward and that is dark; it’s not yellow.
If you are struggling with the fear of letting down your barriers, I completely understand. Being vulnerable is so hard but I know that it’s fragile. It’s made of glass and once it’s been smashed through, life becomes easier. The first step is always the hardest, so take it.