Slow and steady
That’s what my parents said to me.
But I didn’t listen and hurtled on,
And let me tell you, the crash was spectacular.
Now I crawl along at a glacial speed
And sometimes *shock* *horror*
I might stop to take a break
Or stumble backwards for a week or two.
But that is fine, really it’s fine.
Because after years of toil and trouble,
Thinking I’m fighting a losing battle,
I take a break on the side of my mountain,
Hands on hips and head held high,
And I see that I’ve travelled so bloody far.
There’s more to climb but that’s neither here nor there.
The thrill comes from the knowing I’ve moved
Further than I thought I ever would,
Achieving more than I ever could.
One of my favourite little mantras that I hear in recovery is ‘Progress Not Perfection’. I love it because it’s positive in so many ways.
Firstly, it encourages me to slow down. When I was drinking I always wanted to do everything at a million miles an hour. I wanted that promotion NOW, I wanted that boy to love me NOW. It went on and on and on.
Now, I still feel myself getting carried away but I know to slow down, take my time and enjoy the journey. It doesn’t matter if I’m not at the top of the company that I work for. If I can just turn up every day and do a good job, then that is progress.
It also stops me beating myself up over mistakes I make. I recently got signed off work again with anxiety. I immediately started to beat myself up over it, telling myself that I was still a loser who couldn’t even handle a job in a petrol station.
However, this time around I got back to work after a week and I haven’t made a total hash of everything. Sure, I got signed off, but I have a lot on my plate. The thing that matters is that my behaviour is changing, slowly but surely.
I was told that I should always look back once every so often. Really stop and look at where you are and where you were and it’s normally really surprising (in a nice way)!
Make sure you all give yourselves a break and stop aiming for perfection. Just try to be better; that’s more than enough to ask of anyone.