Slow and steady

That’s what my parents said to me.

But I didn’t listen and hurtled on,

And let me tell you, the crash was spectacular.

*

Now I crawl along at a glacial speed

And sometimes *shock* *horror*

I might stop to take a break

Or stumble backwards for a week or two.

*

But that is fine, really it’s fine.

Because after years of toil and trouble,

Thinking I’m fighting a losing battle,

I take a break on the side of my mountain,

Hands on hips and head held high,

And I see that I’ve travelled so bloody far.

There’s more to climb but that’s neither here nor there.

The thrill comes from the knowing I’ve moved

Further than I thought I ever would,

Achieving more than I ever could.

One of my favourite little mantras that I hear in recovery is ‘Progress Not Perfection’. I love it because it’s positive in so many ways.

Firstly, it encourages me to slow down. When I was drinking I always wanted to do everything at a million miles an hour. I wanted that promotion NOW, I wanted that boy to love me NOW. It went on and on and on.

Now, I still feel myself getting carried away but I know to slow down, take my time and enjoy the journey. It doesn’t matter if I’m not at the top of the company that I work for. If I can just turn up every day and do a good job, then that is progress.

It also stops me beating myself up over mistakes I make. I recently got signed off work again with anxiety. I immediately started to beat myself up over it, telling myself that I was still a loser who couldn’t even handle a job in a petrol station.

However, this time around I got back to work after a week and I haven’t made a total hash of everything. Sure, I got signed off, but I have a lot on my plate. The thing that matters is that my behaviour is changing, slowly but surely.

I was told that I should always look back once every so often. Really stop and look at where you are and where you were and it’s normally really surprising (in a nice way)!

Make sure you all give yourselves a break and stop aiming for perfection. Just try to be better; that’s more than enough to ask of anyone.

Much Love

Rachel xx