The words come tumbling out,

A torrent once held back

By bricks and mortar damns.

But when they burst

And letters form on broken tongues,

The bets are off with no control.

Flowing fast from nature’s source

Before they slow at river’s mouth.

Reaching oceans where they lose

Power and intensity.

Dissolved into the great expanse,

One might think they’ve lost their sting,

But letters never lose their hurt.

So, along with the rest of the world, I’ve started watching Tiger King on Netflix. It is a fascinating window into a life that is unlike anything many of us know. The main character, Joe Exotic, is the master of his own world and it seems that the confidence that this brings him leads to his own undoing.

The problem with this Joe Exotic is that he genuinely thinks that he is above the law and all the standards that the rest of society subscribes to. And it means that he doesn’t seem to have a clue when to close his mouth and just shut up!

I wouldn’t say that he is mentally ill, but he definitely has some personality issues that I’m sure a psychiatrist would have a field day on. And it’s like when something pops into his brain he just runs with it. If he decides he wants to be President, then he just runs a campaign. It’s bizarre to most of us but I’m sure that in his own head it all makes perfect sense.

Anyway, it’s this inability to keep his mouth shut and to know when to stop that I find so interesting. I guess it’s because I see a bit of my old drinking behaviours in it and it makes me cringe a bit.

Obviously, I didn’t run for Prime Minister but I knew that everything that came into my head was right. And I didn’t ever pause to think about whether there was even the smallest chance that I may be wrong.

Having watched this series, it’s made me think even more carefully about what I am saying. I still have a tendency to start talking before I have thought, especially when I’m stressed or anxious or feeling emotional. But with work, I’m learning to stop and breathe and think about all the possible consequences of what I’m about to say or write or post.

Normally, my first instinct isn’t a very good one and if you are like me I urge you to stop and think first. Sometimes just being silent is the best answer. When people want a rise out of you, staying quiet is infuriating for them. And, if you stay quiet then you can’t possibly say anything you’ll later regret!

Much Love,

Rachel xx