It stares its ugly glare
Back at me in hot
And angry tones.
I wish that I
Could turn away
It keeps me there
Until it’s all zipped up.
I hate leaving things unfinished. But life is not perfect and there are some things that I either cannot finish or choose not to finish. And so these projects eat me up with guilt.
Today I finished reading a book that I absolutely hated from start to finish. I found the writing horrible and the story line too cheesy. But the guilt over not finishing it was so strong that I ploughed on anyway.
It just got me thinking how much time I must waste doing things that I don’t even like because I’ve started them and then felt bad about the idea of leaving them incomplete.
If I could make a change to my personality, I would be more carefree and care less about what the world thinks of me. If I’m really hating something I should allow myself to throw in the towel. Life is really short and it seems a waste to spend it on things I don’t enjoy.
That said, this same quality/ flaw (however you want to see it) has meant that I have stuck things out that have made me incredibly proud. I’ve swum the English Channel and run 100 mile ultra marathons. I can safely say that I did not enjoy the second half of those but I persevered. And I’m so glad that I did because those achievements are now with me forever.
I’d be really interested to know how others feel about giving up on projects. Does it eat you up with guilt or are you quite happy to put a book down after five chapters? I say that you need to balance things up which is sometimes really hard. How much do you want to get to the end and is it really worth it? Sometimes it’s a yes and sometimes it’s a no.