I guess it’s ok to look back, if it makes you happy….

Old episodes of Friends

That turn and turn

On repeat so endlessly,

Or nineties songs

That take me back to teenage years.

I slip into that time so quick

And with such ease,

Comfort like a bubble bath

Or shoes I’ve worn for months on end.

Familiar is the place we long to be

But sometimes dipping toes in fear

Can offer magic never known

While wrapped in duvets

Full of previewed down.

I’ve spent the afternoon, quite accidentally, watching movies from about twenty years ago and it has felt perfect. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why, and then I stumbled across a tweet while I was scrolling during an ad break.

The tweet said something along the lines of: those of us with anxiety love to watch movies time and time again because there is something comforting in the fact that we know what will happen. There is no uncertainty so we can just enjoy the film for what it is.

I think that this is so true. But I also think that the time I felt the safest was during my late teens and so I like to be taken back to that time whenever I am feeling rattled or anxious. Hence the reason you will normally find me listening to old Britney or Backstreet Boys when I’m feeling sad.

Remember that it’s great to experience new things and we need to do that in order to move forward and grow. But it’s also fine to go back and revisit the good times. That’s precisely the reason we make good memories; so that we can look back on them fondly.

And on that note, I’ve already watched Practical Magic and now I’m going back to watch the end of Along Came Polly!

Much Love

Rachel xx

6 thoughts on “I guess it’s ok to look back, if it makes you happy….

  1. Greg Dennison

    I think, even before the era of COVID-19, even before my terrible 2019 started, that’s why I started writing DLTDGB. The world was simpler and made a little bit more sense back then, and revisiting those times also gives me more of a perspective on today. And the music was better.

  2. juliadeniro

    I love listening to ’90s pop music too! I don’t care if people consider it bad music; it’s bad music I grew up with, and so listening to it is very comforting. By the same token, I’m sick of people fetishizing the ’80s. The ’90s were a better era over all: the Cold War was over, America was more prosperous, and people were enthusiastic about protecting the environment.

  3. crispina kemp

    You are right in that, to watch old programmes, old movies, is to insert ourselves in a world without anxiety. When I was severe with ME/CFS, one of its less spoken off symptoms is a continual high anxiety state. I binge-watched Lord of the Rings, time and time again, with the commentaries, and all the appendices, time and time again for at least four years. Though I swear some of it was to have human company now I wasn’t working

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