My toes curled hopelessly inside my socks

Like little caterpillars hiding from the sun.

I want to look but then I also really don’t

So put my clammy hands up to my face,

Peeking through the slats my fingers make

To see the dreadful mess smeared across the screen.

I know I really shouldn’t feel for him

But I feel familiar pangs of sympathy

As words rain down and answers can’t be made,

At least not answers we can trust.

I don’t know why we do it when it hurts so much

But soon it feels like sweetness of a drug.

Soooooo, the TV has been interesting over here in the UK. The government (bless them) are digging themselves a serious hole and it came to a bit of a head yesterday when Dominic Cummings, the top government aide, had to come onto live TV and make a statement and answer questions from the press.

It’s been a bit embarrassing for our government but this was a bit of a new low and I had to say that I was cringing the whole way through. To start with I was questioning why I was watching it, but soon I realised that I was getting some kind of weird kick out of it.

I have experienced this feeling before and I’m sure that most other people have too. I don’t really understand it because I feel horrible about myself for enjoying it. However, I guess that it’s something that has been experienced forever because otherwise the Romans would never have enjoyed going to the Colosseum to watch the gladiators get the shit kicked out of themselves.

I think that I need to switch off a bit when this starts to happen. While I’m not a fan of Dominic Cummings I do feel like yesterday was uncomfortable watching and the scenes outside his house were crazy.

I just take a little comfort in knowing that other people have the same feelings and it’s really just a symptom of being human rather than me being a nasty piece of work.

Much Love

Rachel xx