i’m sorry, but my pain is far more important than yours

My skin has been grated and the wounds are bloody,

And I’m proud of the mess and the pain on show.

I boldly display the cuts and the bruises,

Enjoying the oo’s and the ah’s of my captive audience.

I don’t even know how those scars came about.

I did know once, but now that has paled

Into nothing important, nothing that matters.

All that I care about now, is that you look at me,

Know how much pain that I’m in,

And to hell with the rest of you.

I’ve been following the JK Rowling fiasco quite closely over the past few weeks and I’ve found the arguments fascinating. The problem arose when she commented on an article and said something that suggested only women mentstruate.

This kicked off a really ugly Twitter debate over whether or not she was transphobic. And some of the abuse that I saw hurled at her was very uncomfortable to read.

I’m not transgender so I can’t even begin to understand what pain and anguish members of the community go through, but are we solving anything by hurling abuse at other women. Looking at JK’s initial comments, she didn’t say anything maliciously.

JK then went on to write an essay about why she said what she did and she had good reasons behind her words (namely that her ex husband had been abusive and she worries about the effects it will have on victims if they are stripped of their identities as female).

Again, I’m not going to pretend to know enough about this topic to pass judgement BUT I do find it interesting how we often forget that everyone has their own story and their own pain. In this argument it seemed like a lot of people were willing to launch an attack on JK without knowing anything about her story. It was as though their pain trumped anyone elses.

This happens across society and isn’t helped by the anonymity offered by the internet. However, I think that we are entering dangerous territory and we need to stop feeding into this idea that we are number one and we should put number one first.

Let’s learn from this drama that we’ve seen play out on Twitter and try to be more accepting of everyone’s stories. Nobody’s pain is worth more than another’s even if it does seem quite trivial to you. Some were arguing that because JK is a multimillionaire, he pain means less; as though money is the medicine that will fix the human condition!

Just be nice and remember that just because you are hurting, it doesn’t give you the right to be horrid to others. Hate doesn’t drive out hate, only love can do that.

Much Love,

Rachel xx

5 thoughts on “i’m sorry, but my pain is far more important than yours

  1. crispina kemp

    I could hug you for that post. Pat you on the back. Cry out, here here!
    I have a policy of not getting involved in politics in the present climate. But it hurts to see out children and grandchildren so blatantly trash our message. Equality to all begins with love to all. I don’t see much love in these younger generations. Just hate, and hate, and more hate. I cry.

    1. patientandkindlove

      Oh phew, I’m always so worried that I’ll upset people when I write about something so divisive. My point is exactly what you say though. If we all realised we’re all struggling and that screaming at each other won’t help, then we start to turn a corner.

  2. Life‘s So Complicated

    I enjoyed this post – kinda similar in nature to one I posted – stemmed from the whole JK issue too. I found it fascinating that it escalated with people then wanting to boycott the body shop! Anyway – what is a shame is that the article was been lost in all the hate / trolls / politics of the post. Great post.

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