Deep, deep pain, probably the deepest

That a human being knows to take

Is knowing they have done the right thing

And knowing that it failed.

I’m guessing that we’ve all stood up to the bad guy at some point in our lives. It’s one of the most scary experiences a human can have, facing somebody bigger or stronger or more powerful that you and knowing that you are about to take them on.

And what is worse, is losing to them. And not because you were wrong, but because they stomped on you with their power.

I had an experience at work where I once stood up to a rather nasty person at work, who was very much beloved to the boss. I asked to be given space from her and the boss found it hilarious to put me working alongside her at every given opportunity.

I ended up getting so frightened that I had a break down and I lost my job. I thought that I was doing the right thing and it ended in the worst possible way. But what is worse than the losing of the job, is the bitterness that it leaves behind.

These feelings resurfaced a little bit when I was watching Athlete A on Netflix. It’s a documentary about the US gymnastics team and the doctor that abused many of the athletes.

One of the athletes reported the abuse and she lost the spot on the Olympic team (a spot she had been almost certain to get until reporting). I can’t even imagine how painful it must be for a teenager who has dedicated her whole life to this one goal, only to have it snatched from them for doing what they believe is the right thing.

How do we move on from such bitter and unfair disappointments? I think that in reality we never really do move on. We bury that pain deep down and we use it to harden ourselves against future attacks.

But I also think that we shouldn’t shy away from doing what is right, because we are scared. I think that we need to always keep striving for what is right, and kudos to those gymnasts that stood up for themselves when the stakes were so high. If you were robbed of your Olympic dream then it should make those future successes feel so much sweeter.

Much Love

Rachel xx