I slowly walked towards the office door,

The strip light waning up ahead,

Signalling that she was there

And sapping joy from air within.

I know she knows already,

She’s angry, waiting for her chance to pounce

And I’m her perfect weak and worthy prey.

She was waiting for my news,

Any chance to dig her talons in

And that’s enough to make me drag my heels,

To make me wish for death

Over what I know I have to do.

So I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I got accepted onto my teaching course. The bad news is that it’s not the one run by the primary school that I was recently taken on by.

And what makes it worse is that I have a real aversion to awkward conversations. Telling the head teacher that I will be leaving after just one term is agonising to me. I would rather have teeth pulled with no anaesthetic than face this conversation.

Normally I write an email and then hide whenever I have something difficult to say to someone. But I feel like I’m growing up and part of growing up is learning to deal with these situations. So really, I should face it head on.

It’s not going to make sleeping any easier though. I’m sure there must be other people out there that struggle with this as much as me. Can you imagine if I actually had something really bad to tell the head; like I’d accidentally killed a kid?

I hope that all of your conversations this weekend go really smoothly and that this is especially true if you feel as sick to the stomach as I do. Wish me luck…..

Much Love

Rachel xx