My heart has taken several beatings,
But you became the very worst
The day you whispered in my ear
Those words you knew could tear apart
The life I’d worked so hard to build.
I’ve limped along since then,
But I have never quite been sure
What’s the cure for what you did.
Other pains, I take a pill to make it go
But this pain lingers on until one day
I wake and find another ill
That’s knocked the wind from damaged lungs.
I am sure that every adult in the world has had a little bit of heartbreak, and it doesn’t have to come from the end of a romantic relationship. One of my worst heartbreaks came from a time at work where I was picked on until I ended up really ill and having to leave.
But what heals that pain? I always thought that I had to get back at the person and that would fix my own pain. However, since getting sober, I have realised that my own happiness and comfort depends on what’s going on inside my own head and not what’s going on in others.
I also used to hope that ‘karma’ would work its magic and make the person fall spectacularly. I still get a little buzz from knowing that somebody that has been horrible to me is having a hard time, but it’s short lived and I realise very quickly that it does very little to fix my own pain.
I think that it’s important to realise that people will always hurt each other but a lot of times it’s not done because they want to hurt you; it’s done because they want something and nothing is going to stand in their way. Most of the time it is just unfortunate that you were standing in the way.
But doesn’t that say something about them? They are so desperate for ‘things’ that they are constantly chasing. To me, that sounds exhausting. I’d rather sit back and enjoy what I have and the people that are already in my life.
Know that your pain is allowed and justified, but lashing out is not. It won’t do you any good in the long run, and I write this as a reminder to myself because I really want to lash out at someone. It will do no good. Just appreciate those that do love you.