my mother chose her sister over me and it really hurt

I don’t think that there’s any pain

That shoots through bodies with such searing pain

As the white rejection of a mother

Who’s chosen someone other

Branding skin with broken lines,

Ugly to the eyes.

They mark you out within a crowd

As one who’s never good enough.

My parents split up last year and my mum pushed me away too. No matter what I did to try and fix the situation, it just seemed to get worse and worse. Now she just listens to her sister and I can’t even have a dialogue with her without it having to go through my aunt.

I’m writing this to get it out in the air just how much that hurts. I think that the rejection of a mother must be the hardest pain to bear. To know that somebody who gave birth to you and raised you can’t stand to talk to you is so painful.

I guess I’ve always known that she doesn’t like me much and I think that it has led to a lot of the problems I’ve had in the past. I literally walk into situations already thinking that I’m going to fail, because if my own mother hates me then why should these other people like me?

I hope that there is a reason for this really painful time in my life because I feel like I’m nursing a broken heart. And I feel like everyone can see how hated I am which sometimes makes me just want to curl up and hide from the world.

Much Love

Rachel xx

7 thoughts on “my mother chose her sister over me and it really hurt

  1. wandasanderspoems

    If you’re mother is rejecting you. It is her not you.
    How can anyone love me if my mother doesn’t? Heartbreaking. It’s just her.
    Let’s just say, I’ve been through the same. It haunted me all my life. Until I let go and realized it wasn’t me that rejected her. It was her.

  2. J.Bosh

    I am sorry that you are going through that. You have a beautiful soul… please don’t change a thing. Maybe in time, your mom will open up. I had a tough time with my mom for years… about 35 to be exact, but she and I are closer than ever now. I always thought she was disappointed in my appearance or me in general, but I found out that she just didn’t know how to be a mom to me. I have a hard time with my girls… they both think I love my son more. I don’t know why kids feel like there has to be a favorite. My son has had a lot of problems, so I have recognized that I wasn’t giving the girls enough attention. I love them all equally. I’m still working on those relationships, but any lack of a relationship was definitely my fault. I just always imagined that the girls were doing fine. I have found out along the way that I was wrong. Now I know what I did wrong, I can try and fix myself. I think you are amazing. Love, Jessica

  3. theresaly520

    We love you. I’m sorry that you’re going through that. I had a tough time with my own mom as well. There was a time when she said she didn’t trust me, and that hurt quite a bit. Nowadays, we have open communication and talks to me about everything.

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