watching Ellen in the afternoon

The darkest feelings hit on Monday afternoons

When work is lacking and the thoughts

Of uselessness are biting at my heels.

I curb the hate by eating crisps in favourite flavours

Untill the salty dust can cover all my clothes.

Watching Ellen in the afternoon when really I should be

At a job that vanished in an angry heartfelt beat,

Has brought back niggling doubts about my worth.

I’d love to be as thrilled with life

As crazy audience members always seem to be

And try to suck up any joy that’s left behind

In the hope that I can fight my way

Back out this funk I’m swimming in.

4 thoughts on “watching Ellen in the afternoon

  1. dysfunctionalandmagicallife

    I’ve been there before – I know people say it but enjoy this time as much as you can because it will soon be over and you’ll be crazy busy and wish you hadn’t spent this rare moment of hush beating yourself up ❤️ be kinder to yourself , you’ve had major changes in what aren’t normal circumstances so give yourself a break – you deserve it !

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