A mirror shows a thousand things

Both good and bad, dark and light,

But what you do with what you see,

That’s the key

To finding your way home.

I had another little go at teaching today and the difference between this time and last time was immense. And it wasn’t because I’d suddenly become a fantastic teacher, it was because I listened to my mentors and I took some time to reflect on my first performance properly.

I always thought that reflection was a bit of a buzz word and always used it as a tick box exercise. But this time around I did look at all of the things that made me want to curl up and die, and it worked!

I think that because this teacher training course costs £9,000 I’m more inclined to try anything and everything that is suggested, but I surprised myself with my success today.

As I’ve written before, a lot of my problems in life are all around a lack of confidence. I saw the bored faces of all those teenagers and just thought that they hated me. With that thought lodged firmly in my mind, I felt like I was slowly drowning without any flotation device to grab hold of.

But with a bit of reflection I realised that every teacher, good or bad, gets that bored look from Year 11’s. And I realised that I couldn’t remember everything I wanted to say and started drifting. So I had a notebook open with bullet points to prompt me.

In short, I could iron out the problems with just a little bit of sane and rational thinking. I didn’t let my brain run with the whole ‘they all hate me’ story, which is such a huge step for me.

So, I didn’t really have anything profound to say today because I’m sure that most people know to do this anyway. But for me, I just didn’t know how to fix my problems. And I’m chuffed to bits with myself for making this step in the right direction.

I hope that you are all striding in the right direction too. It’s quite an exhilarating feeling.

Much Love

Rachel xx