having a good clear out

man wearing long sleeved top
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The unbearable lightness

Of casting aside

The heaviest of burdens

Wrapped in a T shirt

That was misunderstood;

That is the most lovely

Of feelings in life.

I’m really craving a car boot sale at the moment. I don’t know if they exist outside of the UK, but I guess they’re similar to a garage sale. There are just lots of little sales all taking place in one big field.

They are the perfect way to make a few pennies and get rid of all the stuff that you haven’t even touched in over a year. And I live in a one bedroom flat so keeping my belongings to a minimum is really important.

However, I’m also really aware of the mental health benefits of having a good clear out and I was painfully reminded of this as I was sorting through some of my old clothes not so long ago.

I happened to stumble across a vest in the bottom of a drawer. I hadn’t even seen it for years but as soon as I pulled it out into the light, I was reminded of a very dark time in my life.

I wore this vest to the Inclusion center when I got sober. Stepping inside that building was probably the bravest thing I’ve ever done and I vividly remember seeing my reflection in the great glass windows as I pulled open the door.

It is like the pattern of that vest is burnt into my memory and just pulling it out took me right back. And it made me realise how important it is to shed some of these memories. They are not helpful and getting rid can feel like something of a rebirth.

I’m happy that I stepped into that building and started that journey but it feels like that was the death of the old me that needed to drink in order to live.

I took that vest to the local charity shop as I don’t need that negative energy clogging up my wardrobe while I wait for car boot sales to reopen. I think sometimes we all need a little clear out as some of those memories are so heavy that they are painful to carry through life.

I wish you a week of lightness and light.

Much Love

Rachel xx

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