Hate hurts, it burns,
And you take me for a chump.
It’s the way you must think of me
That stings the most.
You insult my intelligence
After a life (I thought) of love.
So much for that,
It was all for show
But I won’t take this lying down.
I am furious at the moment. My mother has crossed a line that I can’t really forgive her for. I know that things are raw, but sometimes, in the moment, it’s hard to see past the injustice and the bad behaviour and the utter idiocy.
I’ve written about it many times before, but my parents are going through a divorce and my mother has completely turned on me. Now she is making absolutely ludicrous demands in the divorce process and I’m so worried about my dad losing everything.
There is a whole back story and I don’t want to air my dirty laundry online, but I do want to write about the feelings that I’m having. The intensity of them. The confusion I feel at this happening.
I have always known that divorces are painful to go through and it’s horrible to see my parents go through this at this point in their lives. But I feel like I want to scream. And I’m surprised at the brazen cheek of some solicitors. Some of the suggestions they make, in favour of their clients, are so ridiculous I don’t know how they have the nerve to send out the letters.
This whole thing has made me question love. It’s made me question my faith. It’s made me question my entire existence because my mum has basically said she wants nothing to do with me. Am I so hateful? Really?
I’ve learnt to work through this kind of thing, but it still hurts and all of those difficult questions are rattling around my brain.
If you are going through a break up then I totally understand what you are feeling. I’m sending you my love and I hope that you can hang on to your strength and your dignity and the things that rightfully belong to you.