I’ve always felt a little less,
A little fake,
And not quite worthy of
A life I see in books and films
Where grown ups live their perfect lives,
A place that’s always out of reach.
I’ve always felt a bit like an impostor and it’s cost me dearly throughout my life. Every time I try and do something that could make my dreams come true and give me a more ‘grown up’ life, I somehow self sabotage and destroy it all.
This time I seem to be doing a little bit better even though the teacher training is really stressful. It has kind of felt like I’m a student again as I’ve just sat in lessons. It was my comfortable spot and I haven’t felt like I’m gasping for air.
However, today something happened that made me feel like a proper grown up and I bristled with pride as it played out. It may not sound like a big thing but I was handed a red pen and a WELL DONE stamp and told to mark my Yr 7’s work.
I look back to four years ago when I was on the floor, always in tears, unable to function and I feel so proud. I’m actually marking work!!!!!
It’s just the little things that do this, but I am so glad that I have them in my life. I’m sure I’ll be hating marking within a couple of months, but for now I will enjoy the things that I once thought would never be possible.
Much Love
Rachel xx
clcouch123
Grading is the most laborious part of teaching, I believe. But it is a part, and our marks do make a difference. Congratulations on growing into life and into teaching! It is the small things, I agree.
patientandkindlove
I remember my English teacher returning a story I had written and she’s just written one word. ‘Remarkable’. I’ll always remember that word and how much it made me want to write. It was so powerful and it would be amazing if my red pen could have such a lasting effect on somebody else.