You only get given what you can handle,
Fucking annoying to hear, I know.
But it’s so bloody true
As we grow like trees,
Creaking with effort.
Our branches are stronger,
Thickening with age
And making us tougher
Than we ever thought real.
I’ve always hated it when people say that you only get given what you can handle. Even if you have a faith and feel loved by something much bigger than yourself, it can feel really difficult to believe that life is that linear.
If it were true, then we would grow at a fairly steady rate and things would steadily get more difficult as we got stronger. It would be kind of like a computer game where we level up every couple of months.
And that’s not the way that it works.
But, in saying that, I look at the way my life has changed since I got sober and I have managed to take on more and more. If I had tried to do a teacher training course back then, I just wouldn’t have had the emotional resilience to get through it.
And so I feel that we are given what we can handle, but a lot of the time we are only given more because we choose to take it on. That doesn’t take anything away from the beauty of it. And it doesn’t take away any of the pride I feel in being able to bear the weight that I now can.
I feel strong, even when I’m sometimes feeling like my branches are a little bit shaken. Whether or not it’s because I’ve grown as a person, I don’t know, but I’ll keep on plodding in just the way I am.