A bottle with a screw top, preferably,
So that I can take a sip and stow away the rest.
Just so I won’t have to take
Doses that I’d never handle in a million years,
A little here and there to stem the flow
Of hate that courses through my life,
But not enough to cause that pain
At the other end.
I won’t get into a relationship because I’m scared. I’m one of those people with an addictive personality, and I mean that in the worst possible way. Once I’ve removed the lid on something pleasant, I can’t put it back on for love nor money.
I sometimes wish that I could just dip my toe into love so that I could make myself feel more confident. I wish I could do it so that if it all goes wrong, all I have to deal with is something like a mild hangover.
Unfortunately, most people want to dive right in. And then when they fall out of love with you they cut you off just as quickly.
I hear that love is the most amazing feeling and that’s why people just fall into patterns where they date (unsuccessfully) over and over again. It’s just so that they can get those amazing feelings that come with the early stages of a relationship.
There is so much bad going on in the world at the moment that I feel like I need a sip of love, but the fear makes me just keep it on the shelf, looking down at me disapprovingly.
One day I will find the bravery needed.