sunday night dread

slim woman under electric lamp in dark room
Photo by Ryanniel Masucol on

The precipice is just one stride away,

Or one sleep, however you may measure it.

I want to wind it back a day or two,

But time is constant, on and on,

And soon the morning will be here

And so will work, we’ll heave with stress,

Falling until Friday night

When life can start another time.

So, I can honestly say that I am really enjoying the work that I am doing and I don’t think that I’ve ever been able to say that before. For that reason, I know just how bloody lucky I am.

However, I’m also a hopelessly nervous person and so I’m still getting that Sunday night dread. In fact, because I actually want to do a good job, I’m a bit more nervous than I would normally feel about going back after a week off.

What if I’ve forgotten everything that I learnt in the last half term? What if the kids have decided that they really hate me and all start throwing things at me as I cower in a corner of the classroom?!

And then we have the uncertainty of what is going to actually happen this half term. A lot of people are thinking that we might not make it to Christmas without the schools being closed, so who knows?

On a selfish note, I want the schools to stay open so that I can train and be a qualified teacher when the summer rolls around. But on the other hand, I can see how rapidly this virus is spreading and it seems kind of obvious where a lot of the spread is happening.

I really hope that you are all looking forward to work in the morning. I know that so many people are worried about what is coming over the next month so I have no right to complain over a few nerves. But, I think it’s OK to feel what you feel. I wish that I had learnt that many years ago.

Much Love

Rachel xx

3 thoughts on “sunday night dread

  1. Nick

    Your perspective is always perfectly expressed and I would encourage you to know that you have nothing, but nothing, to worry about.

  2. crispina kemp

    Have a good week. Guess it might be a bit uppy-downy with this new lockdown but we’re all here with you, with our own little uppy-downies, all finding ways to cope. You’re not alone.

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