four years of sobriety

There was a time when twenty-four hours was too much,

When the sweet taste of chardonnay made life worth living

And the guilt and shame that always followed

Was a price I was sadly willing to pay.

Today I celebrate four years of sobriety. I’m lucky that I never got to the point where I lost my child or my home. I did lose my job but things could have been a lot worse.

However, that doesn’t take anything away from the horrors that any addict has to go through before they feel the need to seek help. The shame of raising your hand and admitting a problem is too much to bear for many.

I reached a point where my anxiety got so bad that I was suffering with psychotic episodes. I was convinced that I was evil and that all of the bad things in the world were my fault. It sounds ridiculous, but it was the sad truth.

I still have moments where I think that people hate me, but I’m learning that a lot of the time I’m simply misreading the situation. My brain is sick and I need to be careful with what I let in there.

My brain may be a little wonky, but I’m in control now. Things have been up and down since getting sober (it hasn’t fixed all my problems, funnily enough), but I can deal with those peaks and troughs so much more calmly now.

Getting sober is the best thing that I’ve ever done. It’s been hard, but worth it. If you’re struggling, I urge you to consider quitting. It could take years to feel better but you will. I promise.

Much Love

Rachel xx

22 thoughts on “four years of sobriety

  1. 𝑹𝒐𝑩𝑰𝑡 β˜„οΈ

    That’s amazing, congratulations! πŸ’™

    I’ve thankfully never had any problems with it, but I’ve personally gone off alcohol in the last 2 years and the longer I go without it the less I feel any desire to drink it again. Expressing yourself creatively or making real human/animal connections are much more gratifying :).

      1. patientandkindlove

        No, I think you hit the nail on the head. And it’s so nice to go to lovely occasions like weddings and remember them and be able to dance without alcohol. It takes a new kind of courage, and I like working on that x

  2. joyfulstephanie

    I LOVE this blog!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!! 4 years is a real milestone!!!!!! I’m 8 months sober!!! Life is SO much better without alcohol!!!!!! My brain is still wonky too…. but getting a little better each day!!!! Thank you for sharing this!!!! πŸŒ»πŸ’›πŸŒ»

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