Those little slides that offer help

To when we flounder in the pit

Of words that cannot roll off tongues,

We have that crutch to hold us up

But God, they bore the people in our thrall.

I have been told to deliver a lesson that relies more on questioning and less on the PowerPoint slides. I’ve always rolled my eyes at the 265 slides that are to be used during a corporate away day. But now I have come to see them as my own crutch.

I use them to read from when my mind has gone blank; when I’m feeling shaky and buckling under the pressure. The slides become my lifeline and the idea of going without them is terrifying.

What if I forget everything that I had to say? What if I end up just silently staring at the students as they silently stare back? It could be highly embarrassing.

But then I need to remember that I do actually know what I am doing. This is analysing literature, and that’s what I do best. I actually enjoy doing it so, with a little bit of luck, some of my enthusiasm should rub off on the kids.

I still feel like I’m being told to swim without armbands for the first time. I can see the pool stretching out in front of me and I know that failure means a watery grave.

It’s a risky thing to do but think of the fun that I can have when I’ve actually learnt to swim. My world will open up and surely that will make everything seem worthwhile.

Much Love

Rachel xx