being left up the creek without a paddle

umbrella against sky
Photo by Pixabay on

I’m drifting from the bank and yet my oars

Are snapped and sunken to the bed.

I’ll never make it back but I

Can hope that someone kind will reach across

And hold my hand before I tip

Over edges of the falls,

The rushing rapids I must face

Before I reach the finish line.

I am in a bit of a situation at the moment. I’ve been left to do a lesson on something that I have never done before and I’ve had very little help. I literally had a PowerPoint sent to me tonight with the expectation of teaching a GCSE class tomorrow.

I have no resources, no videos, I’ve not even been told how much of the lesson I’m expected to take. And I feel a little bit like I’ve been cast out adrift with no paddle.

It’s a bit scary as it’s a difficult class and they are Year 10 so they could eat me alive, and that’s not me being dramatic.

I’m sure that I’m worrying about nothing but it kind of annoys me when a lot is expected of you and you haven’t really been given the tools to deal with it. The main problem is that when I was drinking I would kick up a big fuss and make a drama out of it and it always ended really badly.

Now I’m sober, the last thing I want to do is cause all that trouble, but the worries that caused my bad behaviour are still there, bubbling away underneath a calm facade.

It’s a line that I still haven’t found and I think I’m still going to make a lot of mistakes in trying to find where it is. At the moment, I’m drowning in worry without piping up about it. One day I’ll know what to do; I just wish that I had the life manual that everyone else seems to have!

Much Love

Rachel xx

13 thoughts on “being left up the creek without a paddle

  1. Greg Dennison

    Do the best you can. From what I know, teaching is one of those things that you can’t really learn how to do until you’re doing it, so do the best you can, and you’ll get better over time.

  2. clcouch123

    Certainly, you should have the tools to teach, especially when the objectives and expectations are specific. I suppose you’ll have to teach, anyway, though I think you should express your concerns and needs, especially the needs that everyone should understand and (extra-especially) the needs that meet curricular and training standards.

  3. crispina kemp

    By now you’ll have dealt with it, and come out on top. So you’ll know in future panic isn’t the answer. I’ve had similar situations. Being thrown in at the deep end, fearing I’ll drown. Yet every time it’s turned the best learning experience. I do hope you continue to grasp tose nettles and refuse to be thwarted by problems.

      1. crispina kemp

        As you say, it’s part of the learning. And we all have done it in some way or another. Pick yourself, learn the lesson, and move on. After all, you weren’t trampled by a 16 hands hunter that had thrown you (happened in a friend)

  4. David Green

    I’ll let you in on a little secret Rachel. With the exception being the Bible there is no life manual. Most people fake it till they make it. Me i live life the same way i write poetry and drive a car – by the seat of my pants. 🙂 🙂

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