The flames aren’t lapping at my feet,
The planes aren’t crashing into rooms
Filled with kids who scream in fear.
No. In fact it’s rather pleasant
This world that I create
Inside my haven, my heavenly room to teach.
I have this thing where I think that I’m doing really badly as I lead a lesson. In my head, everything’s going wrong, I can’t find the resources that I need so I’m scratching around for bits of paper, and I’m stumbling over my words.
I was also told that if I were to film myself, I might not enjoy the experience because I’ll be able to see all of my flaws (and, of course, nobody likes the sound of their own voice).
However, I had to record a lesson today so that I can be assessed by my tutor. I was dreading it, but I did it anyway and this evening I sat down and had a look at what a mess I was in front of my Year 8’s.
But the funny thing was that it actually showed me that I’m not that bad. I’m not really stumbling; I’m just concentrating so hard on the few times that I do stumble that I forget about the remaining two hours that are word perfect.
I’m nice to my class, I laugh with them, I have them all quiet so I can’t be too boring! All in all, I’m much better than I thought I was. The exercise that was supposed to make me question myself has actually given me a bit of confidence.
I’m not that bad. I can do this. And I need to be proud of how much I’ve improved in such a short space of time.
I hope that you are feeling confident in something at the moment. Even if it’s just knowing that you can do the cryptic crossword in the newspaper. You deserve a pat on the back!
4 thoughts on “i’m a little bit better than i first thought”
You are not that bad, which means you are that good. The humor, interaction, and attentiveness you bring to teaching is also what you engender from the learners. Congratulations! Thank you for the pat on the back.
Hey, Rachel, wait till you’re interviewed life on radio… and your freeze. Then you now panic.
You’re doing ok. Truly.
I once got interviewed by Tony Black burn on the radio. I did OK although I was totally fangirling on him!!!
Yea, I can imagine.
This was a qualifying test before I was offered the position of theatre manager: Could I handle the stars without going gaga?