marking myself out of 10

selective focus photography of bookshelf with books
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I’ll chip away one mark for this

And another two for doing that.

Aiming for the perfect ten

And soon I see I’m only worth

A measly two or three…..

I am doing my first set of marking this weekend. I’ve focused on lesson planning and delivery up to this point and now it is time to branch out a bit further and try something new.

So, this week I designed an assessment for my Year 8 students, I modelled an answer for them, got them to answer the real question and now I have the books sitting on my kitchen table ready to mark.

It is exciting to be trying something new, but I am also quite nervous because I feel like I’m going to be marking myself.

When I set them off on their own I just had this horrible feeling that I hadn’t taught them well enough to get good results from them. I suddenly realised that there were elements that I had missed, and how can I then blame them for not including something they had not been taught?

I’ve looked through some of the books and it’s not quite as bad as I feared but I can definitely see the places where I have fallen short, and all of them have made the same mistakes so it really is me, not them!

I’m being so critical of myself but I want to be better and I want to know that I’ve done my best for the students. I know that what I learn from this half term will help inform my teaching leading up to Christmas and that is part of the process. But that doesn’t stop it from hurting me, knowing that I’m not perfect.

I understand that perfection is never going to be attainable but I really want that perfect ten for both myself and the students. I’m assuming there must be others out there who judge themselves just as harshly?

Much Love

Rachel xx

3 thoughts on “marking myself out of 10

  1. crispina kemp

    I think it’s natural to be harsh on ourselves. Or put it this way, there are those who are harsh, and there are those who are sloppy. Of course, there are those in between. Moderation, I believe that’s what we’re told to aim for.
    Myself, I’m harsh first. But when I don’t attain those perfect marks, I relax up a bit and say, yea, but no one’s perfect, and I’m doing the best that I can. (And my mother’s voice no longer tells me, my best is not enough)

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