does anyone else feel naughty?

pink light fixture
Photo by Megan Forbes on

Sneaking around in darkened corners,

Making plans so clandestine

As life goes on out in the light


And wishing that they knew.

So I just applied for a job. And for some reason I feel guilty; like I’m stabbing the school I’m training in, deep between the shoulder blades. They funny thing is that this is what we are supposed to do. There is no position that is definitely opening up at my current school, so why not throw my hat into the ring and apply for a role?

I’m finding that I must have a really low level of self confidence, as I don’t feel like I deserve the position. I’m breaking down my thought pattern and I can see that I’m already telling myself I won’t get it; the only way I’ll be employed as a teacher is if people (at my training school) get to know me.

I just know that on paper I’m a load of crap. And get me in an interview and it becomes even worse!

But this is the year of pushing my boundaries and just giving things a try, so I’ve handed in my crap application form and you never know….. They might take pity on this rather lost little 36 year old.

Still, I feel sneaky. But excited. Definitely excited.

Much Love

Rachel xx

3 thoughts on “does anyone else feel naughty?

  1. crispina kemp

    I remember how, like you, I felt guilty about applying for another job. And it never occurred to me that this new job would take up my references before they even interviewed me. But next thing I knew, our GM plonked himself in my office and explained how he was about to lose a valuable manager at another site. Then he stunned me by offering me the job. Lo! Promotion. Yay!
    Do’t feel bad about it. It shows you have initiative and ambition

      1. crispina kemp

        That would be good for you. But perhaps a variety of settings would also be beneficial. See several sides, several conditions, different staff, different pupils, different problems.

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