Sneaking around in darkened corners,
Making plans so clandestine
As life goes on out in the light
And wishing that they knew.
So I just applied for a job. And for some reason I feel guilty; like I’m stabbing the school I’m training in, deep between the shoulder blades. They funny thing is that this is what we are supposed to do. There is no position that is definitely opening up at my current school, so why not throw my hat into the ring and apply for a role?
I’m finding that I must have a really low level of self confidence, as I don’t feel like I deserve the position. I’m breaking down my thought pattern and I can see that I’m already telling myself I won’t get it; the only way I’ll be employed as a teacher is if people (at my training school) get to know me.
I just know that on paper I’m a load of crap. And get me in an interview and it becomes even worse!
But this is the year of pushing my boundaries and just giving things a try, so I’ve handed in my crap application form and you never know….. They might take pity on this rather lost little 36 year old.
Still, I feel sneaky. But excited. Definitely excited.