Bound with ugly chains that clunk
With every movement forward in
A time that should be full of joy,
Not ghastly fear and heated coals
That burn the soles of eager feet.
We should be flying for the stars,
It only takes a little boost,
The confidence to spread your wings
Is so much less than what you thought.
I’m a chronic worrier and I know that my self confidence has taken a bit of a battering over the years. I’m working on making it better but sometimes things come out of my mouth and it’s only once its out that I realise how awful and self deprecating it sounds.
We have professional studies on a Thursday morning and the mentor makes sure that we have someone in the school talk to us about how to make our teaching better. It is great but sometimes the conversations that open up can reveal some of my issues.
I think the mentor was getting a bit worried that I was going to drop out of the course because she’d overheard a few of my self directed quips. Anyway, she pulled me to one side and gave me a book.
It was called 10% Braver and it was written by a movement called #WomenEd. The book focuses on all of these inspirational women in education and how they had to overcome their fear to get where they are.
I’m sometimes a bit skeptical of these self help type books but this one is a bit more practical. And the message is a bit easier to digest for those of us who are always scared.
Just be 10% braver and see where it leads. I don’t need to be 100% braver and decide that I want to become the Prime Minister. All I have to do is take a small step. Send an email. Ask to meet with someone I admire. Apply for a job.
I’m really giving it a go and it feels so much safer than going all in. I’m never making a decision that is going to change my life, but put them all together and I’m getting there.
What has made it even nicer is that it was a free copy of the book that my mentor gave me. She told me that once I had finished with it I should pass it on to somebody else who needs it.
I may never be a head teacher or even an assistant head, but I could be a role model for someone and wouldn’t it be nice to pay it forward one day?
Much Love
Rachel xx
clcouch123
I’m glad for the giving of the book. Potential has been recognized.
patientandkindlove
Ah, that’s so nice. I hope that in another ten years I will be passing all that knowledge onto another nervous little trainee.
crispina kemp
You see. Rachel, people believe in you and want to help you.
As to self-depreciating, yea, I have the same problem. And how many years before you get rid of that conditioning begun in childhood? “Better to put yourself down before someone else does it and hurt you.” It’s no easy chore to overcome it. But persistence, you’ll do it
patientandkindlove
It’s so true that we want to put ourselves down before others can do it. It feels very scary to make yourself that vulnerable.
crispina kemp
I know. But hey, guess what. If you don’t it, amazingly others don’t either. Or at least not very many, and those ones really aren’t worth the knowing
David M. Green
It wasn’t until my younger told me in a family meeting the day of my mothers seventh partner’s funeral.
How much he admired me for working at the same job for thirteen years. That I realized that I was a role model for him.
Something that I would never have dreamed of in a million years. And out of my three brothers he was the only one who admired me.
One never knows when a smile, word, a random act of kindness or encouragement. Can make all the difference in the world.
David M. Green
younger brother
patientandkindlove
I’ve had a few moments like that, when somebody has said that they’re jealous of me or admire something I’ve done and I find it difficult to understand why. It’s quite sad that we put ourselves down so easily.
David M. Green
The reason we put ourselves down so easily is simply because; we have been trained by others to think of ourselves as worthless.