a woman in want of a husband

vintage restaurant with retro furniture
Photo by Nick Bondarev on Pexels.com

It is universally known that a woman is in want

Of a husband to elevate status,

To bring about honour and maybe a child.

If singled out for too long,

She is officially ‘on the shelf’,

A spinster in the making, and she’d better

Get herself a cat and needlepoint

To occupy her time, yes, she must,

Find herself a gentleman, however it is done.

Sorry, but I’m still harping on about Brridgerton and all of the other period dramas that I’ve watched over the Christmas break. It’s probably becoming obvious that I’ve watched too many of them, and because I’m not very good at thinking for myself I tend to slip into their way of thinking quite easily.

I think that, in part, it’s because I want to belong to that time, but the thing that I love the most is the matching that went on. A woman would simply ‘come out’ and then she would have a dance with a man and then it was decided that they would marry and by Saturday the deal was done.

I, on the other hand, have been single for way too long. Of course, I have a child so I would be a ruined woman and couldn’t expect to find a good man, but I can overlook that when I imagine my own life in Regency England.

I do find that I like to draw comparisons between the times though. I mean, is Tinder all that different to the way that society operated back then? And, I don’t see myself as a natural beauty so my photo on those dating sites never looks as good as the other women. Does that mean that I may have fallen into the spinster category? I have recently bought a cat, after all.

Watching this world through my TV screen has just made me hope for some love this year. It’s been too long and despite everything that I’ve just written, I feel that I’ve got the maturity to understand the ups and downs of a partnership now. I’d quite like to weather the storm with somebody and get to the end of the road still holding onto their hand.

Much Love

Rachel xx

16 thoughts on “a woman in want of a husband

  1. Vic Crain

    A companion need not be a husband. A vibrant woman I know in her 80s had a husband who passed decades ago, and is quite satisfied with her boyfriend, arguing that remarriage would be a ludicrous mistake. Life presents an array of options and we should be free to consider all of them and what is singularly best for us. Stereotypes and conventions should have only a minor place, if any, in that assessment.

    1. patientandkindlove

      I love this. I have a friend who has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for about 20 years and they still live in their own homes. They’re so happy and go on lovely holidays together and I’d rather be like them than some of the married couples I know who really don’t like each other!!!!

  2. Margot Kinberg

    I know what you mean about the wish for companionship. I think life is just easier when you have a partner. From the biggest things to the smallest things, like driving someone someplace, it’s easier if you don’t have to do it alone. Little wonder there was such a focus on making matches during the days before women earned their own livings, and before it was considered respectable to live on your own, if that makes sense.

  3. David M. Green

    One of the most important crisis developing today is the large cohort of women who will never marry.

    Because they chose to seek a career until they hit the wall and are no longer physically nor sexually attractive to men.

    Along with the increasing numbers of men who are fed up and disgusted with today’s entitled women.

    Enough to walk away from intimate relationships with women.

    1. crispina kemp

      With no intent to start an argument, but must a woman be physically and sexually attractive when a man needs not? For I look around me and really, too few men fall into the fanciable category.

      1. David M. Green

        Life is a two way street.

        Just as men are judged worthy by women for the financial resources they bring to a relationship.

        Women are judged as worthy by men according to their attractiveness and sexual appeal.

        Especially by men who are looking for not only companionship but to start a family. As feminine beauty is an indication of how healthy and fertile a women is at that point in her life.

        I’ve been married 39 yrs and my wife and I are separated at the moment. I’m 61 and in no hurry to move back in with her or any other women for that matter.

        Simply because I’m tired of the games women like to play; and of the emotional chaos they always bring into their relationships.

        I have reached the point in my life where I value peace and quiet and do not wish to be disturbed.

        For every opportunity women have been given an opportunity has been taken away from men.

        Resulting in both the falling numbers of men attending colleges and universities. And the falling numbers of men earning the higher wages a degree brings.

        Because women chose to concentrate on a career during the years she was most desirable and fertile. As well as judge men by their financial resources and refuse to marry a man who doesn’t earn more than she does.

        Increasing numbers of women are hitting the wall – no longer desirable and sexually appealing – to those few high earning men still looking to start a family.

        And because of the growing numbers of women who divorce and financially destroy their male partners.

        Increasing numbers of men no longer consider marriage and having children an acceptable risk.

        Causing them to vote with their feet by leaving the dating and marriage market in ever increasing numbers.

  4. crispina kemp

    I tried marriage. I was persistent: I tried 3 times. Nah, it’s not for me. Yet I had a steady and satisfying relationship with a “live out lover” that lasted from 2000 to 2015… when he died. We had met in 1983, and had always been friends.
    Now, like you, I’m beginning to think I’m ready again. Or at least I’m open to approaches. But in the midst of a pandemic is not a good time.
    I wish you well with yours, but advocate patience, my friend

  5. clcouch123

    The cat is sure you’ve elevated your life considerably via the added presence of itself.

    Your last paragraph I believe clearly expresses virtues there can be in human love.

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