We talk through glass and try
So hard to teach a lesson on
The vagaries of love and hate
And all the in betweens.
Impossible, I think,
But that’s the age we’re in.
Anyone who has been reading along will know that I’m in my training year as an English teacher. The year started in September and so I have only ever experienced teaching in a pandemic world. However, that term has been done in the classroom and it has all felt as normal as it possibly can feel, given the circumstances.
I finished before Christmas feeling really pumped. And then I’ve been watching the news over the break and my heart has been sinking day by day. I want everyone to be safe and well but I’ve felt so sad and nervous knowing that the likelihood is that I’ll be teaching online this term.
The news has been steadily getting worse and worse and it’s now Sunday and I’m not entirely sure what will happen tomorrow. This is terrible for teachers and students and I don’t know what to feel about what I’m walking into.
I have been learning to swim with the current and not try and fight it so that is what I plan to do. I can’t control anything that happens and I just need to show enthusiasm and resilience as we all push forward.
However, as much as I’m telling myself it’s going to be OK and we’ll get the kids through another really turbulent year, I am thinking about how on earth we are supposed to teach online. I teach English and although it’s perfectly OK speaking through a screen, I do think so much will be lost.
English is full of discussion and feeling and I don’t understand how we’re meant to get all of the richness through in our lessons. I like to walk around and write on the board and ask questions and see facial expressions and I feel like I’m going to miss all of that and that makes me sad.
I guess it’s a learning curve for everyone and if I can get through this in my training year then it’ll all feel very easy as I get further into my career. This still doesn’t make me feel any less upset about the things we’ll all be losing out on this term.