when it feels right, in your heart

I guess it’s called a gut feeling. That feeling in the pit of your stomach when you know something is right or wrong for you. I get that feeling a lot, but I sometimes wonder where it comes from.

There are times when I’ve made horrendous mistakes in life and a lot of those times there has been that nagging feeling that something wasn’t right. And, likewise, I feel a real burning in my chest when something is right.

I could be relying on hindsight, which we all know is a wonderful thing, but, I find it alluring to think that there is something bigger at work when we get these gut feeling. These signs from above, as it were.

I’m applying for teaching jobs at the moment and I’ve had two rejections out of two, so far. But, I had that nagging feeling with one of them that it was a bad idea. I was only applying because I felt like it was expected of me. And when I didn’t get it, I felt myself breathe a sigh of relief.

Another girl on my course got the job and normally I feel really jealous and hurt when I know somebody who has beaten me. I felt the hurt of rejection but I didn’t feel the jealousy this time round. In fact, I felt like I’d dodged a bullet. It’ll be interesting to keep in touch with her and see how the job pans out and whether any of my reservations are real, or just in my head.

There is a job that I spotted today and I immediately got that flutter in my heart that it was right so I will be applying for that one, and not with trepidation.

I guess we can never know what the future holds and whether or not we can rely on gut instinct, but I like to think that it has some power in keeping us safe and keeping us on the path we were meant for. There are so many ways that my life could go from this year onwards. Who knows, I might even end up going abroad to teach?

We all just need to trust in the journey and have as much fun as we can. Even the worst experiences in life can turn into the funniest anecdotes that we can tell many years later.

Much Love,

Rachel xx

8 thoughts on “when it feels right, in your heart

  1. Mister Bump UK

    Eighteen months ago, my friend’s son used to lounge around his bedroom all day. To eke out a living, he took a nocturnal job with Deliveroo. This guy has an MSc in aero-engineering, but the experience of the course only served to convince him that he did not want to work in that sector.
    Eventually he upped and went to S Korea to teach EFL, seems really happy there, local girlfriend etc. All the fears that my friend had about his son finding somewhere to fit in, have all suddenly evaporated.
    I think a change of scenery can be a good thing.

    1. patientandkindlove

      Yes, it’s just taking that leap of faith. I bet he never saw himself where he is now in a million years. But then again, how many of us actually work in what we have our degree in? Not many, I imagine. The world can take us on quite a twisty turny (but fun) adventure.

  2. Margot Kinberg

    I don’t know exactly where that gut feeling comes from, either. But I know to listen to it. Whether it’s something larger, or something within ourselves (or both, really), when we get that feeling, there is a reason for it, and it’s as well to pay close attention to it. I know the times I didn’t, I’ve regretted it. I wish you well getting the teaching job that is right for you. I know just what you mean about applying for a position because you feel you ought to – done that myself. I hope the right position comes along soon.

  3. Mike

    I am excited for you that you have a lead that lit a spark. I agree, these things can help guide us. Very best success with your next steps!

  4. clcouch123

    You’re right, we don’t know the future. And I think the conditional tense is interesting but rather useless, since there is no certainly in what would have happened. But going with one’s gut–I think there’s something salient in that. Especially when it works favorably as in the job notice you came across recently. I’m glad you’re going for that, regardless of what happens, and I wish you good luck. And a good weekend.

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