The plummet as you realise that

You’re not planned, not organised

And yet you’re being pushed on stage,

The audience waiting ravenously.

You have no choice, you must go on,

But words will stick to frozen tongues

As minds will race to find the path.

So I got up a bit late today and I sleepily logged into my emails with ten minutes to go before our tutor time was about to start. And there in my inbox was an email asking if I wanted to open the class as I was due to take it.

I thought that I was just sitting in and watching so, of course, I had nothing prepared. I felt my stomach drop as I wondered what the hell I was going to do. I even started typing out an email to say, no way was I going to take it because I had no idea I was supposed to. I also considered feigning illness and just not pitching up.

But then I did something different to my normal line of action. I decided to just have a go.

I quickly went into the file where all of the tutor activities are kept and pulled something out at random, opened the meeting and then just winged it.

And I think I got away with it.

Normally, I’d be curled up in a ball crying and this time I actually performed. It was far from perfect but the kids got some interaction and I didn’t look like a complete idiot.

So there you have it. Once again, I have proved myself wrong. I’m not useless and I can perform when the pressure is on. I won’t be making a habit of not preparing, but I know I have that skill if I should ever need it.

Much Love

Rachel xx