I don’t normally like to open up to people in positions of power. It puts you in a very vulnerable position and I don’t like knowing that somebody high up has something on me. Once I told a boss that I was scared of something and she went out of her way to put me in that very situation, day after day.

I also worry that I might come across as being whiney, going on and on about all my problems. I mean, these people aren’t my therapists so they don’t want to hear all of my insecurities.

However, yesterday the director of our course checked in with me because I’d mentioned that the week had been a bit of a slog. I don’t know what made me do it, but I told her that the job situation had been playing on my mind. I told her that everyone in the English team had secured a job and I was the only one left behind and that made me feel a bit crappy.

And the thing was, she was really nice. She gave me the heads up on a new job that is being advertised and gave me a bit of a pep talk.

Things were really bad when that boss had fun playing around with me and now I’m much more in control, but yesterday’s experience still showed me that people can be nice and supportive. Not everyone is out to make your life a misery.

I made that situation worse because I was drinking and clouding my judgments with all of my stinking thinking. But it was still cruel what she did. I felt like I took a bit of a risk yesterday and it was actually quite nice to just get it off my chest and have somebody higher up tell me that it’s all going to be OK.

I think that’s just what everyone needs in life. To be told that it’s all going to be fine….. even if we do feel a bit whiney in the process.

Much Love

Rachel xx