when you feel a toe curl coming on

It starts with images that feel

Wrong to taste, a bitter tang

That hurts the tips of tongues

And then it scratches at the brain

Warning that there’s something wrong

Something less than perfect swims

Through our bodies to our toes

Where muscles curl in fluffy socks

The sign that life is full of hot

And heavy moments meant to be

Private, unseen by our curious eyes.

I’m reading a book called My Dark Vanessa. It’s incredible. I would even go as far as saying it’s one of my favourite novels ever… and I’m only just over a hundred pages in.

The story is about a girl who is fifteen and she falls for her English teacher. However, it is much darker than just a story of a harmless crush; because the teacher encourages it and he is three times her age.

The author goes into real detail as to what the two of them get up to and it makes for a toe curling read.

I just wonder what it is that makes us, as humans, feel this horrid feeling. I just want to cringe, curl up in a ball and close my eyes and ears. I think it might be the fact that it’s something I know is wrong, or something that we shouldn’t be privy to.

I say that it’s a horrible feeling, but yet it becomes compulsive; it’s like an addiction that just needs feeding. Perhaps, it brings up all of the memories of those embarrassing crushes we had on teachers and what would have happened if something would have happened there.

It’s fascinating reading and it’s brought up so many uncomfortable feelings and thoughts; something that I think is sometimes important to feel when we read.

Much Love

Rachel xx

P.S can we also just take a moment to appreciate that cover. It’s just so beautiful that I would love to frame it once it’s read.

6 thoughts on “when you feel a toe curl coming on

  1. Margot Kinberg

    It’s funny, isn’t it, how that feeling is both repulsive and alluring at the same time. We know that sort of relationship is wrong on a lot of levels, and in any case, it’s weird or worse to be privy to someone else’s intimacy. At the same time, we’re drawn to those things, like staring at a car crash. I don’t know why people are like that, but we feel that tug-of-war. That’s why you see people standing around gawping when there’s a building on fire or something.

      1. clcouch123

        That’s outstanding. Several years ago, I read a horror story that was so scary I had to put it aside. But I had come to care about the characters and wanted to know what happened to them, and so after a while I retrieved the novel and finished it. Ghost Story by Peter Straub.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.