Their beady eyes look out,
Watching, a little judging too.
They do not move although I know
They hear my every word
Fraught with nervous energy.
I just got observed in my teaching today. It’s a normal thing as I have to be supervised in every lesson anyway. However, in this one I was observed by both my mentor and the SCITTCo at the school. The SCITTCo oversees all trainees who are placed at the school so she kinda feels like a big deal.
Now, we are teaching online, so it’s not even as though I have to teach with them taking notes in the back of the room. All I can see is their little staff photo in the corner of the screen, showing that they are present.
But in a way, it feels worse. They are unmoving and they just stare out at me. I can just imagine them scribbling horrible notes about me and wincing every time I stumble over my words.
Those little thumbnail pictures are in my nightmares at the moment. Their smiles are painted on to hide their disdain (at least that’s what my brain likes to tell me).
Anyway, if anyone else feels like they are sometimes having a psychotic episode when trying to converse online – I feel your pain. I just wanted to put that out there….