Pride, it blooms

Like a flower in the chest,

Petals curl, unfurl

And fill the body

With the strangest positivity.

I got an interview!!! It may not lead to a job but it is a step in the right direction. After every person on my course got a job by Christmas (with the exception of muggins over here), I was feeling a bit sorry for myself. I was feeling a bit like I’d get to the end of the course and then have to go back to working at the petrol station.

But getting a nice email at the end of a pretty tough half term just made my heart swell with pride. Even if there are five applicants and I end up being their least favourite, they are taking the time to see me.

It had just taken a lot of pressure off and made me feel a little bit less like a failure, which is something that my head often tells me that I am. I can pull myself down before I’ve even begun and I need to stop that before I go into this interview. They are giving up their whole morning to see me and they wouldn’t do that if they thought that I was a waste of space.

I am worthy. I will do OK. Nobody will laugh at me. And I won’t get kicked out (the interview is on Zoom so there is no chance of getting kicked out, but they could quite easily decide to terminate the call).

I think we should all be a little bit kinder to ourselves and stop with that chain of insults that can run through our heads and sabotage our happiness before we have even had a chance to begin.

Much Love

Rachel xx