we attract the things we hate

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

They cling to us like scents to clothes,

Sticking to the fabric and the hair

With a ferocity seen only in bars

Thick with smoke that lingers all day.

We can try to waft away the fear

But they’ll know where to find us

And they’ll stick to our skin,

A residue so sticky that we can scrub til it’s raw,

Those terrifying souls will always want more.

I get afraid of people who are nasty to me. I don’t get angry, I just get crazy frightened, and a lot of the time people don’t understand that. And then they find it quite funny that I’m frightened and they’ll go out of their way to make it worse.

And I’m having this problem again. My head of department has been really mean to me on several occasions and I’m trying my best to stay away from him so that I don’t get myself into one of my states. But he keeps following me.

He just seemed to be in my face all of the time, even when it wasn’t necessary. And it’s made me think about the way we seem to attract these things that we hate. It’s so much like when I worked in a bar before the smoking ban. The smell of that smoke (as a non-smoker) was disgusting and yet it clung to my clothes and my hair. There was just no getting away from it.

I have three weeks to go and it feels like I’m waiting on that smoking ban all over again. I just want him out of my hair. I don’t want to feel scared anymore.

Much Love

Rachel xx

7 thoughts on “we attract the things we hate

  1. Margot Kinberg

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this. When someone treats you badly, it does feel so scary, doesn’t it? I think it’s especially true if you don’t see the reason why someone is acting that way. It’s only for a short time, though, and I wish you well getting through it.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.