you make me feel like i’m the only girl in the world

I literally feel, like there’s a great foam finger

And it hangs over my head, pointing me out,

‘Look at her, look at her, what a loser’.

Everyone else has got it together,

The camera’s on me, the lights are on me.

Anyone else feel like this? No? Just me?

I’m giving myself a freaking headache with this job situation and I’m worried that if I keep doing this to myself the desperation is just going to be leaking out of my pores.

I’m thinking of attaching a begging letter to my next application. ‘Just take me on! I have nothing to offer you, but I’m desperate!’ Honestly, I won’t do this, but it is very tempting.

I know in my heart that I have so much time, but I also wonder if there are whispers behind my back. I wonder if the others (who all have jobs) are pointing and laughing when I leave the room.

I need to snap out of this, but I’m also sure that this is as human as feeling jealous or having a crush on someone. That sense of desperation is something that we just have to live with. And I just need to think that when I get my job that sense of satisfaction will be all the sweeter because of that wait.

Much Love

Rachel xx

5 thoughts on “you make me feel like i’m the only girl in the world

  1. crispina kemp

    You are very human, you share perfectly human traits. Maybe the difference is that you reflect and consider and try to explain where another person might just suffer, not knowing the cause

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