I literally feel, like there’s a great foam finger
And it hangs over my head, pointing me out,
‘Look at her, look at her, what a loser’.
Everyone else has got it together,
The camera’s on me, the lights are on me.
Anyone else feel like this? No? Just me?
I’m giving myself a freaking headache with this job situation and I’m worried that if I keep doing this to myself the desperation is just going to be leaking out of my pores.
I’m thinking of attaching a begging letter to my next application. ‘Just take me on! I have nothing to offer you, but I’m desperate!’ Honestly, I won’t do this, but it is very tempting.
I know in my heart that I have so much time, but I also wonder if there are whispers behind my back. I wonder if the others (who all have jobs) are pointing and laughing when I leave the room.
I need to snap out of this, but I’m also sure that this is as human as feeling jealous or having a crush on someone. That sense of desperation is something that we just have to live with. And I just need to think that when I get my job that sense of satisfaction will be all the sweeter because of that wait.