A shrunken version of myself
Gazing at the board and hoping that
I’ll tell that they are OK,
Their worried glances sent my way.
You’re doing fine, I want to shout
As little bodies bundle out.
There are times when I have little conversations with an eleven year old, I have to stop and remind myself that this is not a little version of me that I am speaking to. It is like going back in time and meeting myself, because there are always going to be the next generation, just like us, coming through the ranks.
I see the boys who are likely to be CEOs of their own companies and the girls who just want to have a beautiful family (sorry, that was awfully stereotypical, but you really can see it from a young age)!
But then I see a young girl that will come up to me at the end of the lesson and ask if they are doing OK. And it’s me, twenty five years ago. It’s the me that still exists inside now.
I had one girl who is brilliant. Quiet, but still makes an effort to contribute; lovely writing; great ideas. And she was worried that I thought she was doing crap. And my heart broke for her.
I kind of wanted to write this because kids get a bad reputation. I sometimes think that we forget they have exactly the same personalities as us, and there are the really sensitive ones that need all that reassurance just to get through the day.
It strangely also makes me feel a little less alone, knowing that I’ve not just acquired these things as an adult because I’m pathetic or a loser. I’ve always been sensitive and I always will be. Now it’s time to embrace that.
5 thoughts on “when i see myself in some of them”
One of the keys to excellent teaching is seeing students as humans, just like you. When teachers feel that connection, they can respond to students with empathy and compassion. And that helps build a solid rapport.
There’s a disconnect that to me is odd because as you empathetically remind us we were children, too. And yet too often we approach children as if they were a different kind of being altogether. They are us as we were them and still in part are. Most importantly, as you say in the conclusion, we are all human and this should help us adults relate. We are responsible in a positive way in this.
We do sometimes see them as another species. It’s only since being back in that environment that I am seeing my own worries reflected back. We close off as adults and say we’re fine, as an eleven year old will tell you that they are worried and they think they are rubbish.
These distinctions are so true, as your articulation of them is sound. We can learn from you.
You are sensitive. Were you not, you wouldn’t be writing this blog. And never trash and devalue being sensitive. It’s a valuable trait!