double whammy

woman in black sports bra and black shorts holding black and white boxing gloves
Photo by cottonbro on

The cruelest thing in life

Is the gut punch of the double whammy,

When you’re already late and it starts to rain,

Or there’s nowhere to park and your tights have laddered

Or you have a crap lesson then you don’t get an invite

To the job that you wanted with all of your heart.

Then twists and it spirals til you’re down on the floor

Unsure you can do this for one moment more.

So today, I got an email from a school that I loved and I went to look around and it told me that they have looked at my application and they don’t want to interview me. Then, I went into the lesson and got told that it was basically a load of crap.

I could have handled one of those things, but double whammies are just too much. It’s like getting kicked, dropping to the floor and then being kicked again. It’s pretty hard to get up from that.

In true Rachel style, I then burst into tears and cried on my observing teacher for an hour and then went to professional studies and sat in the corner crying for another hour.

The problem with a double whammy, for me, is the fact that it tends to open up wounds that have nothing to do with what is going on in the foreground. I went from ‘oh, I didn’t get the interview’ to ‘I’m a waste of air and space and don’t deserve to be alive in the space of 10 seconds.

I’m now having an ice lolly and I’ll go for a run and hopefully, by the time I get up in the morning, normal service will have resumed.

Love from a bit of a Loser,

Rachel xx

6 thoughts on “double whammy

  1. Margot Kinberg

    I’m so sorry to hear that you got double-whammied. That hurts so much! You will be OK, and you will find the right job for you. Take care of yourself and then get ready to get back on your feet. xx

  2. crispina kemp

    You’re not a loser. And you’re not the only person in the world to get knocked back and knocked down. You’ll survive. You’ve learned how to recover. I know that you have. Tuck that experience in he bag labelled “The Past” and go for it

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