and so we rise

photo of heart shaped balloon
Photo by Andreas Wohlfahrt on

It’s quite the humbling experience,

That moment when we reach the bottom

Of a hole, a stack of cards or the whisky bottle,

But then the rise can be quite meteoric,

A red balloon swollen with a puff of helium,

Sending us in upward spirals quicker than

We ever thought that day we sat

Sobbing on a plastic chair with several kids

Peeping in and wondering why

Miss is crying. She’s a grown up, isn’t she?

It feels so nice, now I’m back,

But caution must be exercised

As red balloons can burst so easily,

Shriveled skins that float back down to earth,

Way too arrogant to fly too far away.

I was literally sobbing in a classroom just two days ago. My head did that thing where it runs away with itself and tells me that not only am I bad at my job, but also nobody likes me and I’m about as evil as you can get.

I felt like I was at rock bottom and even the following day I felt flat and washed out. But then today was great and it felt like Tuesday was just a distant memory.

It just goes to show how quickly we can forget, which is quite a skill. I’m still not sure if it makes us really clever or really stupid as a species, but today I’m quite thankful.

I do know that I have to keep these rises in mood in check though. It is definitely easy to get carried away and to end up getting so high you just pop. I’ve seen it quite a lot with people who are coming back from the dark place that alcohol can take us. People who feel too good, too quick and ultimately end up picking up the drink again.

We are human, and we are supposed to suffer. It’s part of the process. We’re allowed to have highs but we need to be ready for that pop. So my advice would be to enjoy responsibly.

Much Love

Rachel xx

8 thoughts on “and so we rise

  1. Margot Kinberg

    I am so glad to hear you’re feeling better, and that you can put last Tuesday into perspective. It may be disappointing to remember that great days don’t last forever. But at the same time, it’s wonderful to know that we get past terrible days, too. And I think it’s comforting to know that we all have miserable, rotten days at times.

      1. crispina kemp

        I have a daughter like that. I’m not sure she’s improving with age. I hope that you do. Life throws enough at us without adding imaginary problems

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