There’s a massive debt

That hangs so heavily

Over my head

Like a storm cloud

Ready to open the floodgates

And let torrents run riot;

If only I had trust

In what I could be

This rain cloud would blow

Over and I

Could shine in the light.

I’m getting so nervous about starting my new job in July and I think a lot of the problem is down to the fact that I feel like they have only taken me on as a favour. I feel like I owe them for employing me.

However, I’ve been chatting with one of my colleagues in my placement school and she said I really need to stop thinking in that way. They must have seen something in me when I did my interview so I have something that they want.

I really need to shake off that feeling that I owe everyone some kind of debt of gratitude for wanting me in their life. I think most people would tell me to get lost if they didn’t want me around.

I do have something to offer to the world, as does everyone. I think it’s a really British thing to doubt our abilities and worry that we are just a burden on those around us. I think it’s really important that we all start to realise our worth and remember that if we get a job, we should be thankful, but also know that we were chosen for a reason and they should be glad to have such a fabulous person on their team!

Much Love

Rachel xx