There’s a massive debt
That hangs so heavily
Over my head
Like a storm cloud
Ready to open the floodgates
And let torrents run riot;
If only I had trust
In what I could be
This rain cloud would blow
Over and I
Could shine in the light.
I’m getting so nervous about starting my new job in July and I think a lot of the problem is down to the fact that I feel like they have only taken me on as a favour. I feel like I owe them for employing me.
However, I’ve been chatting with one of my colleagues in my placement school and she said I really need to stop thinking in that way. They must have seen something in me when I did my interview so I have something that they want.
I really need to shake off that feeling that I owe everyone some kind of debt of gratitude for wanting me in their life. I think most people would tell me to get lost if they didn’t want me around.
I do have something to offer to the world, as does everyone. I think it’s a really British thing to doubt our abilities and worry that we are just a burden on those around us. I think it’s really important that we all start to realise our worth and remember that if we get a job, we should be thankful, but also know that we were chosen for a reason and they should be glad to have such a fabulous person on their team!
3 thoughts on “i feel a bit like i owe them”
Gratitude is at best a two-way street. I do think maybe you should wait for some to come your way. Or (and) acknowledge to yourself what might have already arrived. You do have much to offer–that is clear!
Congratulations on the new job! They definitely saw something in you and are lucky to have you on their team, like you said.
I’m so happy you have a new job, and a whole new opportunity to show just how skilled you are. The decision to hire you wasn’t made ‘just to be nice.’ No business, including a school, does that. They knew that you are the best one for the job. Full stop.