Sitting out in a reception room, cold and clinical,

Knees jiggling with nerves that shattered long ago.

And when my name is called, by that mousy girl,

‘It’s time for you,’ she said, strangely ominous.

Three faces, behind a conference desk

Glare at me, waiting for the splintered pieces

Waiting for a fall.

The morning’s breakfast churns inside, threatening

To find its way, up and out; but only words should come.

My voice begins to crack, a shrill falsetto

Exposing feelings that were meant to stay within.

I left the room, heading for the mangled crash,

The bad decision that will send me packing.

But when that ‘yes’ slips from smiling lips,

Those knees begin to knock again, this time with the shock.

I love watching The Apprentice and Dragon’s Den because I just love that moment when the contestants are successful. There is something so life affirming about seeing another person succeed.

I’ve never had to pitch anything in person before, but I can imagine the rush is something like a drug. When they pitch to a supermarket and get their first big order for their little homemade product, it just melts me.

I think the nearest I have ever had to that experience is having an interview. There is something almost electric about that moment when you are called back into the room and your fate is decided. In that moment, it could go either way and that’s actually really exciting.

If I could know that the answer was always going to be positive, I’d live that moment every day. However, more often that not it’s not a ‘yes’ and that’s crushing, so I’ll just stick with the job that I have and be thankful for that.

Much Love

Rachel xx