is there actually a point?

Blowing through the summer air with little more

Than a kernel of the knowledge that we need

To get from A to B.

We’ll sometimes find ourselves tangled in the trees

With little more than gentle gusts to work us free.

We’ll get there in the end,

I’m just not sure what we’re supposed to be doing

In the middle bit?

I’m feeling a tad bit lost. This weekend it feels like everything has hit me like a tonne of bricks. The realisation that my mum is gone to God knows where, my childhood home has gone and I have to go and sit in front of a panel tomorrow to tell them why I think they should award me my QTS.

All things have heaped up and now I feel a little bit like I’m not quite where I should be or if I’m even doing it right.

I do get this feeling every so often and it does really frighten me. No amount of pharmaceuticals can make me feel better and it feels a little bit like someone is rubbing a giant cheese grater up and down my brain.

I wonder if there is anyone out there who knows what they are doing or if they feel there is a point? I’d love to know the secret.

Much Love

Rachel xx

2 thoughts on “is there actually a point?

  1. Margot Kinberg

    I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling a bit upside down. The fact is, I don’t think any of us really knows what we’re doing. We all face life as it comes to us, even if it’s weird and uncomfortable, or even sad. We do the best we can. Unfortunately, if you look at social media, everyone has a perfect life. It’s not true.

  2. clcouch123

    Well, the secret isn’t a secret. Simply keep going. I’m sorry when that doesn’t seem wise or desirable or practical. There are times to stop, thank goodness. I wish you well with the panel!

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