the slightest reprieve

The smallest margin, a brook

Gurgling through an otherwise full

Life of greenery. Tangled and messy,

But loved, all the same.

That lull, the sliver of space

Is enough to breathe

And remember the fact

That I am alive, a person with colour

And depth and shade.

I will wade through the shallows

And savour this moment of mine.

I am currently sitting in the staff room eating sweets and not doing anything work related. And really, I don’t need to feel guilty about that at all because I have finished teaching at this school and I can rest for the weekend before I dive into my new school.

But I do feel guilty and I have turned my screen away from the door so that nobody spots I am on Facebook. But what can they say? I’m in this very strange margin of life where I am needed by no-one and I can just be Rachel.

The strangeness of the feeling prompted me to write about it. Why should it feel this weird to have free time? However I feel about it, I think it’s important that we all have times like this. When we can tell our brains that actually it’s quite OK to stop and breathe.

I’m finding this short period of time is going to be great for reflecting on life and how far I have come this year. It has been a hell of a journey and this weekend I’m going to be quietly congratulating myself and taking a big deep breath before my career starts properly.

Much Love

Rachel xx

3 thoughts on “the slightest reprieve

  1. Margot Kinberg

    Oh, that is a good question! Why do we feel so strange about having some free time? Why does our culture so often push the idea that we must be active – ‘busy’ – in every moment. That’s not healthy, and yet it’s a often rewarded. Lots of ‘food for thought,’ for which thanks.

  2. juliadeniro

    I often feel guilty about free time too. Maybe it’s the fact I used to goof off at work, and my supervisors probably told any new potential employers about it, so I couldn’t find a job for the longest time. It sounds like your time off was legitimate, though. Enjoy it!

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