lost like a lemon

bowl with lemons on textile on table
Photo by Tara Winstead on Pexels.com

They compare those of us that are lost

To a lemon, of all things.

Ever so sour, rather than watery and weak,

Wandering the corridors of buildings unknown,

Crying for help in a world that is strange,

Tilting and twisting like a fun house mirror,

A maze of glass panes that offer no help.

But one day I’ll be less like a lemon

And stride through this world like a woman in charge.

I had my first day at my first proper school where I will be employed in September. It was great and I’m so excited to get started but I had that horrible feeling today, that is impossible to escape on any first day.

It is the feeling that I have no bloody idea what is going on and I’m worried that I’ll never catch on.

I have felt this several times throughout the last year, so I know it will pass, but it’s easy to think that I’ll just get lost in the corridors and nobody will notice, or care. There’s always that nagging feeling that they have spent their first full day with me and they are already regretting taking me on.

I may have to struggle through this until I start properly in September, but I will feel like less of a lemon soon…

Much Love

Rachel xx

4 thoughts on “lost like a lemon

  1. Margot Kinberg

    I think we all have that sort of terrible anxiety at times, Rachel. You’re taking a big step, and it would be odd if you *didn’t* feel anxious about it. I don’t know how much time you will be permitted to be in the building before the school year starts, but the more familiar you get with it from your new teacher’s perspective, the more comfortable you’ll hopefully feel.

  2. clcouch123

    I’m sure there are many things to pick up, which doesn’t mean that you don’t know what’s going on. Far from it–you’re new is all. You’ll catch on. The comparison with a lemon is rather sad.

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