Grief is sharp and hot, the body turns away

Instinctively, like bodies jumping from

The burning building. We as why?

Why the hell would you jump from way up there?

But we can’t know intensity like that until

We’re in the fire ourselves. And then

We wish we’d asked, looked inside ourselves

And asked the questions of those tortured souls,

Tell me why you leapt that day.

I just finished listening to the audiobook ‘Sunset’ by Jessie Cave and it was bloody beautiful.

I’ve followed Jessie Cave on Instagram for quite a while because she draws the funniest little doodles and she has the most amazing hair. So, I was pretty excited to read her book when I saw that she had written some fiction.

I found out just before I started listening that Jessie lost her brother in an accident quite recently and the book is a reflection on the grief that she felt.

It was also read by her sister which added a certain amount of poignancy to the audio version of the book. There is also a lovely discussion between the two sisters as a bonus section and it was really touching to get an insight into how they both felt about the novel.

It’s actually made me reflect on grief myself. They were saying how there is no real end to grief. You can’t sew it up like a happy ending in a romance novel. The pain may fade, but the loss will always be there.

I watched a documentary on the Twin Towers last night and I was reminded of the people jumping from the buildings. Nobody could believe what they were seeing and we were wondering why on earth they were choosing to jump.

Now we know that the heat was so extreme, they were almost pushed out of the windows. I think grief is a little bit like that, we can’t understand why people behave the way they do until we experience it ourselves. And unfortunately, as humans, we’re all going to have to feel the pain of a jump once or twice in our lifetime.

Much Love

Rachel xx