Those automatic doors whoosh open with
A sucking of the air, warm from summer winds
That meets the endless refrigerator buzz
And then, with bag slung over shoulders
And swear words softly rolling from my lips,
The stress that weighted down a set of shoulders
Drifted on that early morning air.
It floats into a neverland, that’s not returned
Until I sit cocooned within the car, waiting
For the hours to tick by laboriously,
One more time, and then again, and again,
Until I die, lowered into ground I swept and mopped.
But did I ever want to visit neverland?
Or was I quite content to wave goodbye
To that heaviness that could consume
Even laid back men who laugh and drink despite
The building falling all around,
Piles of rubble, people screaming,
When all hell has broken loose.
I am enjoying my first weekend off in my new job and the thing that has struck me most, is that I’ve not really relaxed. I’m finding that my mind is running at a hundred miles an hour as I think of all the things I still need to do.
I hated my job at the garage because it was physically demanding and it was dull; there was no intellectual stimulation, whatsoever. However, it was wonderful to leave at the end of the shift and know that all of my stresses are being left behind.
Those automatic doors would swish open and I felt like I could breathe more easily. That’s quite the opposite of teaching where the stress is on nearly all of the time.
I think, that as humans, we need to decide what we want; do we want stressful but exciting jobs, or dull but with a delightful lack of pressure. Loving the job and feeling that you are doing something purposeful definitely plays a part in balancing that equation and that is something that teaching does offer me.
But, regardless of how much I feel like I’m making a difference, I’m going to have to be ‘on’ until half term!